Hips dont lie...

Well that's it...I need a new pelvis.

I am already over the pain and I know it gets worse.  I am actually a bit scared.  The belt helps a bit, defiantly better then nothing for sure.  But its the throbbing constant pain in my right hip and the constant 'click' when I move a certain way.  I am actually researching on if it would be wise for me to have a Cesarean instead of a natural birth.  Ideally I would love too give birth, I love this part..but I don't want it to cripple me for the rest of my life either.  That is the reality right now, it happens.  Im also worried that I may end up on crutches or bed rest later on...what happens to my family, who looks after them??

I have to keep reminding myself to 'Slow down' and 'take it easy' and to 'not overdo it'  uhhh duh...I have 3 kids (one a crazy, sometimes stroppy 3 year old) and many dogs...wth?? sigh.

I guess I am frustrated as well right now, with my body for being so annoying...prepare for more whinging about it as this blog grows...sorry,.lol

Pam and I have decided to get an  Amniocentesis. After back and forth with the Drs seems my scores have become even more risky. I'm not too excited about it but whatever.  Is not my baby.

I feel like a bit of a science experiment right now.  

Just so everyone is clear:

Surrogacy is AULTERISTIC in Australia - I am not paid any 

money.  My bills are covered and that it it.

Genea IVF World First?

Dating scan tomorrow!!  Sorry for the lax updating...but really there has been nothing to update! lol 

So it looks like this lucky embryo embryo #9 was part of the guinea pig trial by Genea as to the solution they use to soak the little embryos.  IM rang me and was telling me all about it and said she didn't think much off it until she saw the article!

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/Health/2013/02/10/IVF_breakthrough_boosts_pregnency_chance_844213.html

Feeling much more off now...smells putting me right off and a constant ill feeling.  Joy.  It actually feels very similar to my last pregnancy.  My joints have all loosened too and my hips are already playing up a bit, so will have to watch that a bit in things that I do.  I suffered from Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction with my last...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphysis_pubis_dysfunction  

I actually didnt think Id have to worry about it this early on though, mmmm..oh well.  

I had to remind IM that it was IF baby too and he should be at the ultrasound when she suggested that he could mind my kids while we went, lol!!  Cant wait to see their faces!

Back again with GREAT NEWS!

Sooooo..to catch up...

I think my Thyroid has settled.

Both IM and I flew up to Sydney in Novemember for first cycle. (Bloods and follicle tracking ultrasounds done down here). We arrived at Genea very nervous and excited. Unfortunately we were taken into a small room to be told by the embryologist that there was only one wee embryo survived that was even worth THINKING about implanting. It was still behind in developing so my IM decided not to have it transferred and we spent the rest of the day quite down waiting for out flight back t Melbourne. Turns out it was the correct thing to to , as the next day the embry stopped progressing all together.

We did however have a lovely YUm Cha lunch and spent the afternoon chatting and planning strategies for take two!

My next cycle was to fall on Christmas Day, typical. Good ole iPhone app telling me all I need to know - go Period Tracker! Lol! So we decided not to proceed for this cycle.

Fast forward to January...

Bloods taken, follicle tracking done and we were ready again. There were only 4 embryos left, so the embryologists told us she would check them first thing in the morning an give a call to let us know if they made it... The first two rolled over earlier in the week so we had TWO left...we boarded the lane at 6.30am and left out phones on till the last second.

Landing, taxing to the gate we both switched on ur phones..I had two calls, but IM had THE text!!!!! One had survived!! Lucky number 9 embryo!!!! We were so excited and just wanted to get off the plane! It was my IM 50th birthday too :)Wow! It's been a while... Guess I lost heart there for a while..I am not a great blogger at the best of times!

ok done that..finaly

So yesterday I finally got my bloods done for Genea..I had to take all three kids as I needed to get them done! They were actually pretty good. Ayla sat on my lap watching video of herself on my iphone, Bailey was on my Ipad playing 'Minecraft' (I personally don't get the fun in this game, but then again i am getting old when it comes to technology,lol) Teig got to sit on the big spinning chair..I had bribed him with the making of slime when we got home so he sat as still as a statue!! lol! (..and yes, we made the slime..ugh)

The blood nurse was a little surprised at what had to be drawn and I think she was relieved I was an easy person to get blood from! lol So now we wait...again...

I did speak to P on the way there (bluetooth headphones ;P) and said I wasn't sure if we would get anywhere because of the whole thyroid issue. I had told her previously I was prescribe meds, but I hadn't taken them yet.

She is actually booking me in the see and endricologist, so if it needs to get sorted it will properly..I'm a bit annoyed at myself for my body being a Pain in The Bum, right now...

Yayyyy!!!

Well, the dog part of my life seems to be going down the toilet...but anyhoooo...

Chatted to IM last night, she had some good news at least! The Dr at Genea who has our case has forwarded our file to the committee board on surrogacy for NSW, we just have to forward her the blood tests which we have arranged to get done on Wednesday morning. Well that's exciting!!

My IM cracks me up, she's so funny..I don't think she means to be, but she is! Lol

I had blood tests myself last week for unexplained itching..turns out my thyroid is playing up..nothing too dramatic. Will go back for more bloods and an ultrasound on it next week too..lol, funny my arm will be a pin cushion next week! Luckily needles don't bother me, or it could have been a bit of a problem! Lol

I think surrogacy here in Australia is a massive waiting game, ridiculously loooong waiting game. All the hoops people have to jump through, it's crazy. It really makes me quite frustraighted at times so I can imagine how people who are on the other side of the issue feel, ie those waiting to even FIND a surro. Seriously

You know I've had a lot of hits but not one comment??!

I also find it interesting from the reproductive view of being a dog breeder...not a BYB, a registered ethical breeder that spends more money then she should on dogs, then she would ever make in a trillion years. It was actually funny when the Dr was starting to explain the IVF procedure and I said " Oohhhh so like in canine reproduction..like a chilled semen tranfer" or somthing along those lines..lol.

Defiantly looking positive for an April transfer and hopefully make someone very happy :).

On the another note, my girl is looking quite rotund even at 4 weeks in...I am guessing she shall have at least 5...maybe.

Corbin - Gave up for Adoption in 1999

ok so thought Id write a bit about my first trip to providing a gorgeous family with a wee bundle of love..my DH is watching Top Gear in India as I type this so every now and then his laughing will probably distract me from making sense!

So I was 21, yes not a teen so I know many people will ask "why didn't you keep him?" (he is now 11 so its beside the point that I feel terribly old right now!) Well, I as soon as I knew I was pregnant I knew I was in not position for a baby...here is where I wont go into too much detail as it would take the whole blog! I was raised in a secure two parented family, I wanted that for my baby too.

Pregnancy was uneventful and easy and I ended up being induced at 41 weeks. Crap. It was crap and horrible. My mum and best friend were there. Even though all went smoothly with the birth (bar a retained placenta) I was there for 4 days in a private room. I saw councillors through the hospital before and after the birth and had a very supportive family. Baby Corbin spent most of his time in with me, but at night was taken to the nursery, which I visited when I couldn't sleep and shed many a tear watching him and cuddling him.

Sure I did waver once or twice, (damn hormones) but I knew he had a better family out there waiting for him, that could give him all and more that I wanted a child.  I still remember driving away with my dad crying as he drove - THAT broke my already fragile heart.

Ok the law in Victoria is OPEN ADOPTION. In 1999, there where approx 30 babies withing the WHOLE of Australia up for adoption, crap eh? I bet that number is almost 0 now. It was law for Corbin to spend 6 weeks in the care of a foster mother, as a cooling off period. Here enters Di Harrison. What a woman! You know I dropped in on her a few weeks ago to catch up, shes still fostering kids! Di was my sounding board, my sympathetic ear and my joke machine to make me laugh. She got Corbin in a fantastic routine and taught me how to feed, bath and put him to bed. I visited pretty much every day he was there, apart from when I got crippling migraines from the stress.

No I never nearly changed my mind, I just enjoyed him :) I used to get angry that he couldn't be in the arms of his new parents right this second!

So, the day came and I signed my documents in a court chamber in front of a judge. Yes I cried.

I had to pick a family from three profiles. Gosh that was hard, awful. I kept saying I wish I had of had triplets and could help them all....I remember picking K and K because "they had a dog and loved animals" and their happy, chilled out relaxed photo.

The day I met them in the counselling room. OMG, I cannot begin to explain how emotionally charged that room was, to have someone race over and hug you with tears of gratitude, give you goose flesh. That amazing feeling can never be replaced and I hope to feel that again at the end of my surrogacy.

so there you go...have scanned and added some photos, I have ten zillion or so..

So when people ask me, "can you give up a baby?" Well, yes...yes I can..